O.K.
I eat.
A lot, actually.
Well, now, I'm going to do NutriSystem
to be the good support wife.
I'm bitter about that.
SO here are my recipe files of all the things
I'm gorging myself with
until my non-select Vegetarian meals arrive.
Not bitter about that either.
Without further ado:
Should you not be offended by lots of these
Then read on.
And don't you DARE judge
my crumby black countertops
and filthy toaster.
Or the fact that this sometimes vegetarian
indulges in bacon.
Don't. You. Judge. Me.
Here we go!
You will need this
mushrooms | avocado | tomato | bacon | lettuce | bread |
SPICY brown mustard | Extra Hot Horseradish
Even though I am a sista,
yes, I do eat Mayo.
And if you use this bread, I promise you will not get fat.
Well, yes you will.
But it is worth it.
Cut all your veggies and fungi | Slap your bread in the toaster
Sizzle that bacon
Save the grease | toss your mushrooms in to suck it all up
It is imperative that you use your cute West Elm Owl Measuring cups
to mix an ample amount of Spicy Brown Mustard and Extra Hot Horseradish
Assemble in this order:
mayo on bread | lettuce on one side, tomato on the other
avocado on top of lettuce | kick it up spicy sauce smothered on tomato
bacon on top of avocado | mushrooms on top of bacon
Trust me on this.
If you only have your glued down tomato on one side,
it is much easier to assemble this.
For the non-readers:
Now comes the smash up
which results in this dreaming goodness
the honey sweet bread,
the smokey mushrooms
and the creamy avocado
I'm not sure exactly where I entered heaven.
It's not for everyone.
Only the brave.
Flexitarians unite!
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