And sometimes, I clean

So...

I'm not the only one who has

very weird opposable personalities.

Right?

For instance,

when most folks come to my home,

they often remark on how clean it is.

Since our home includes MILES of hardwood

And has survived two black labs (at different times)

Who both had free range of the house

People are astounded and ask me what my secret weapon is.

After first giving them this face

and then assuring them that I NEVER touch this thing

as the closest I get to the bathrooms is an effort

to make my toilet paper stash look pretty

(yeah Costco! and your individually wrapped rolls)

I then take them to my fave spot in the house.

I love 

this

spot.

Most people think it is because it is a cozy place

to curl up with a book and read.

Negative.

I LOVE this spot

because I get to do my two favorite cleaning routines

all in one place.

I get to dust stuff off

and vacuum stuff off.

So while cleaning grimy toilets totally puts me out,

seeing the instant gratification of a freshly vacuumed rug

is my version of heaven on earth.

Now.

I know some of you are all about the lines and runner marks

as a signal that your carpet is clean.

Not. I.

I like my carpet to look newly laid
and I'm not at all about throwing down stink pretty to mask smells.

Instead, I like my vacuum to get up the dirt (easily)
and to NOT make it obvious that I just vacuumed right before you came by.

Because, frankly, I might vacuum often enough
that you might think I have a problem if my vac left those tell tell signs.

All said, I already knew my husband was my soul mate.

But when he gave me a Dyson for Christmas, I about lost my mind.

I might have stopped opening presents and immediately

gone upstairs to my happy place.

I mean come on, I needed to vacuum the carpet (heaven)
AND the rug (thought it couldn't get any better, it did).

I can't even imagine what a Dyson Animal might do
even better during the shedding season.

A girl can dream.

I would go into my dusting issues too, 

but you probably already think I'm a bit nutty.

Let's not even talk about my Pine Sol addiction...